Life Changing

(So I began writing this last Wednesday night and am just finishing up tonight… hope you enjoy!)

Today was the last day at Bible Study Fellowship, and as is tradition for all BSF classes, the last day of every year is called Share Day.  Share Day provides opportunity for everyone who is willing, to stand and share what they have learned throughout the year.  It is a time of sweet fellowship, of singing, of praising the Lord for all He has done and for the wondrous ways He has worked.  It really is an amazing day.

I was so thankful I was able to go today.  We had sickness hit our home hard this past week with me having food poisoning… yeah, awful.  I haven't thrown up since the 8th grade and it has scarred me for the next ten years.  Daniel had to stay home from work on Monday, which he has NEVER done, for his tummy was quite upset as well, Tirzah has had tummy issues and this strange cold/ear infection/eye infection grossness that has just about finished up, and Thaddaeus, sweet baby, has just had a little bit of a cold.  But the Lord was gracious in the timing of our sickness.  I was first and only on Saturday, and you know, I have never been sick while Daniel has been away?  Well, not sick like that, and that is such a praise, for what in the world would I do?! And after 24 hours I was better, so then I could be ready to serve and nurse alongside Thad to bring the others back to health.  With all of us down and out over the weekend and into the week I thought it was a long shot that I would be able to participate today, but I was!  And I was so thankful.

In Tirzah's 4 year old class, her teachers created this time called "snack & share."  Each class within the children't program has a snack time and during that time teachers are to encourage the children to have conversation.  It's a training time for the children to learn appropriate courtesies while gathered together to share a meal with others.  Tirzah's teachers creatively called this time "snack & share" and it was a cute and simple way to remind the children that if they had a story or important thought to share (during Bible time or hymn time or another teaching time), they should hold that story and save it for the special snack and share time.  That thought really clicked with Tirzah and several times here at home we have smiled at one another and said to each other: Let's save that for "snack & share!" meaning, let's save that for when Daddy gets home and we are gathered around the table.

Well little did I know that today was going to be my day to "weep & share".  Yes, I was that woman.  That woman all shaking standing in front of everyone.  That woman with the voice that can't quite seem to settle down as she shares.  And yes, that woman who starts blubbering and can't get ahold of herself.  Agh!! It was me today!  Of course I waited until the last few minutes of the two-hour fellowship time to share, so that whole time my nerves were building and tightening in my throat.  And of course every time I thought a little about what I wanted to share the tears stung in my eyes.  So it was inevitable.  It was going to happen as soon as I stood up.  But the sweet thing?  It's really ok.  I do start breaking out into hot sweats as I remember that moment and visualize what I must have looked like standing there, face red and scrunched, tears streaming, and voice high-pitched.  But what I love is that it was with the sweetest company imaginable.  That there was no judgement as I stood there and wept in front of those 200 women.  Instead as I looked through tears I saw tears readily falling from the women listening and I received sweet smiles and 'thank yous' of encouragement.  And it's ok that 200 women now know that my nostrils flare and my lip turns down while I cry, for now 200 women know the reason why I did.

I shared a few thoughts upon the sweetness of the Lord that I have learned over this year: how his desire is to dwell among his people.  Ever since the creation of the World, that has been the yearning of his heart!  And all the plans and intricate details for the tabernacle were so that He could be at the center of the Israelites' lives.  And He wants the same now, to dwell among us, to dwell in us, to be at the center.

I shared of the sweetness of how he desires to make us whole.  Wholeness, it seems, has been a theme for me over the past year or so as I have been pursuing whole foods for my family and desiring wholeness as a family, etc.  And so when our teaching leader said that HOLY=WHOLE, I was blown away and completely grateful that wholeness is what God wants for me as well. What a gift.

I shared also that I was thankful for a purpose as a mother.  Moses charges the people "to love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength" (Deut. 6:5).  That is my purpose and my vision as a mother.  To train and teach my children how to love the Lord with their whole being.

And lastly, that which brought the tears, I shared about Thaddaeus.  Each and every Wednesday his teachers would tell the Bible lesson and then would hold up a picture of Jesus.  It is the absolute sweetest picture, one of Him cupping a young child's face with the tenderest of touches.  And they would say his name, Jesus, and have each infant, as he or she could, point to Jesus.  Well Thaddaeus is not a man of many words.  He is saying some, like 'Mama' and 'up' and 'help'.  So you must know what a shock it was to hear him one evening at dinner, say Jesus.  Daniel and I both stared and him and then at one another and then just laughed for we knew we had not been the ones to teach him that and oh what a miracle!  Thaddaeus can recognize Jesus and knows His name!

I know the amount of work that goes into preparing a lesson for these little ones, but to see the impact of the children's program upon my own family simply brought me to tears.  Our son knows his Savior's name.

And that is life changing.

Yes! Still Dreaming of a Homestead

A sweet and relaxing Thursday evening to you, dear friends!  Finding yourselves cozy, I hope?

My feet are up and my cup of tea is near, the hum of the dishwasher is quickly making me quite sleepy and, thankfully, the house is quiet with the babies sleeping peacefully.  Daniel is away on one last mission from these two weeks of intense training.  I won't lie. I will be thankful when tomorrow morning comes and a long weekend can begin.  We have been on what they call "reverse cycle" these past weeks, meaning that we have Daniel home for breakfast and he heads to work around 2 in the afternoon but doesn't return home until early early in the morning.  Sometimes 3 am or sometimes not until 8 am, depending on the mission.  What a man he is to endure this training and to thrive in it!  I am exhausted just watching and I hate to admit it, but the "reverseness" (I think I just created a word and we are going with it!), the "reverseness" of it has really thrown me off-kilter and has affected me more than I had anticipated.  Alas, I think I am out of the irritated-annoyed-what time is it-which meal am I serving? bubble I have found myself in and am back to a somewhat re-oriented-with-normalcy type of routine.  

Somehow I was hoping to write about homesteading… um… let's see… how to transition?

Well, yes!  I am glad you asked.  Our hopes of homesteading are still alive and well and although we can not do much here in this yard of ours in Savannah, we are trying to do all that we can.  Our garden.  Well, yeah, that was not what we had hoped.  Why is it that we can't grow anything?!?  Well, we think it's because we don't receive enough sunshine here in the back yard. Or maybe, too, it is because we have a HUGE pine tree right in the middle of our garden which lends to the soil being more acidic.  Either way, we did not get a big harvest last year.  In all honesty, there was not a harvest at all.  Maybe one tomato?  

We tried a few kale plants and cabbage and carrots over the winter but that seemed to fail as well and so, we have just planted our last effort for a Savannah garden and we planted onions and potatoes.  So far so good but that is how all our other attempts have begun and so we will wait and hope.

And for our animals, we are loving our chickens.  We actually just made quite the big change to our flock.  We had two laying hens but they had come to the end of their prime for eggs and so we, well, we made them into delicious stewed hens.  Might that be a good way of putting it?  

Daniel was the brave one here, as always, and once again, it would seem we always have an audience on such occasions (remember something about a neighbor boy with a bag of chips and us chasing pigs?).  The neighbors just happened to be out, enjoying a gorgeously Spring afternoon when we decided it was time.  And so Daniel just stated over the fence what we were doing and not a minute later, there were the 3 young neighbor boys, already over the fence and standing, mouths wide and eyes wider at the chickens hanging upon our . .  clothes-line.  

Not to waste a beautiful bird, they were into the pot

plucked and cleaned and into the refrigerator.  We enjoyed one this week actually!  I put her in a big stock pot with water covering her and let it simmer for about 6 hours.  Then I added some onions, carrots, green beans, and potatoes and we had a delicious and nourishing chicken soup.  Delicious!

But that wasn't the only change.  We now have 5 new ladies we welcomed here.  3 Barred Rock and 2 Americanas.  They are not quite old enough to be laying yet, we are hoping for mid June.  But they are beauties and we are thankful for them.  Snow White seems to be the only name Tirzah has been using for all of them, so we have our sweet flock of SnowWhites and we are set for now.

We weren't quite happy with our coop set-up however, so we moved it from one side of the yard to the other and we put up a fence so the girls could have an extensive run to enjoy.  And in the move Tirzah found and communicated in the clearest way (loudest scream ever imaginable) that a snake was in our yard.  Thankfully it was just a brown snake, but he was a good two feet long and added quite the adventure to our back yard morning work!

Hard to see here, but to the right of Daniel and Tirzah, hidden amongst the pine needles and leaves is the snake!

Tirzah took this picture, actually!  Us in motion moving the coop.  That thing might not look heavy, but let me tell you!  I think my arms are just now over their soreness… Daniel was the muscle and I simply steered.  

So, yes, we do still dream of homesteading, and we do still love doing what we can, right now!  Never a dull moment, of that I can assure you.

Yes, it's me!!

Hello dear readers!!

Yes!  This is actually me, actually finding a moment and the desire to be here, writing.  Has it been a long time coming, or what?!

And you know what, I am usually tempted to apologize that I have not written in… well… let's not even count the days nor the months… but I am not going to apologize.  I am not. Because, in all honesty, I am not sorry.  You see, I found myself in this weird relationship with the blog.  It was like if I didn't write, I felt guilty.  Guilty that I was not enough, or didn't have material to share or material that was "good enough", guilty that I was not what YOU expected me to be, guilty that I was doing it wrong and was going to be called out for my wrong doing.  But you know, I finally see how silly that was.  I will not allow a blog to make me feel guilty any more.  I am just not going to do it.  I will write and find enjoyment and hope that you will find encouragement and that it might be a place of rest and hope for you, but I do not and will not create a blog in which I nor you will feel guilty.  There. I said it. Enough said?  No judgment on your part?  No judgment here either.  If you are not able to come and read, I will not make you feel guilty.  And if I am not able to come and write or if the post is not exactly quite what you were hoping it to be … then will grant me grace as well, please?  And if so, then I think we will get along quite nicely.

Ah.  That feels better.

Well, I feel like I might just introduce myself again.  I am Fawn, a woman of heartfelt gratitude to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, a wife to my life-long best friend Daniel, a mama to two blessings: Tirzah and Thaddaeus, a home-maker, and a nourisher of bodies, souls, and minds.

How about that last description?  Nourisher of bodies, souls, and minds.  I just LOVE that!  What an awesome responsibility!  That, my friends, is what I have been learning about lately and about which I am becoming super passionate.  The Bible tells us to Love the Lord with all our heart, and with all our souls, and with all our minds (Deut 6:5). And you know what I have found?  That it is my God-given responsibility to teach and lead these children in HOW they are to love with all their heart, soul, and mind.  And I get so excited about that!  I get to be the one to nourish their bodies with the best possible food so that they can love the Lord with all their strength.  I get to be the one to nourish their minds by providing them with a continual feast of ideas and thoughts and book and art and the WORD.  I get to do these things!

And I am excited about that.

Now mind you, not in every moment.  Not in the moments where one child's diaper is full to the brim of something that smells, quite literally, other worldly.  Or in that same moment where the aforementioned child is whining to be held, the eggs are burning on the stove and the tea kettle is screaming with water ready, and the other child is racing up and down the hallway on her scooter, half-screaming and half-singing Jesus Loves Me at the very top of her lungs. When the house is all a mess, the laundry is all but stinking up the house, and the chickens are badly in need of breakfast.  No, in those moments usually I am ready to run out the door and jump in my car to go anywhere but here.  And usually those moments are at 7:22 in the morning.  Lord help me!

But when I do sit down and think about what I am actually doing in these mundane moments that add up to a childhood?  I am nourishing minds and hearts and souls to Love the Lord.  So in reality, mundane moments add up to a HOLY and whole eternity… and that is something to be excited about.

Here we go!

Three Weeks Complete!

Praise the Lord, three weeks complete of this second deployment.  And honestly, it seems as if they have gone by quite quickly, for which I am extremely thankful.  The Lord is good.  Here are just a few snapshots of the past weeks to show you how we have been spending our time with Daniel away...

Thaddaeus.  Getting bigger and more handsome and more fun every day.  He does this Army Crawl type thing... taking after his Daddy already. Not on his knees, but uses his arm strength and pushes with his toes to get himself all over the place.  Is always smiling and happy and absolutely adores his sissy.

Tried his first popsicle on Halloween and delighted in it... obviously

Tirzah and I went on a wonderful Mama Daughter date to Disney on Ice.  It was the best!

We drove up to Papa and Yoyos house a few weekends ago, just for a quick trip.  Tirzah was just the cutest.  It seemed she always had a new hat on, and she was really loving that little umbrella... oh the minds of 3 year olds!

Apple picking with the cousins

Oh no... Thad found the TV and the football game...

Going out for a tractor ride with Papa!

We went to this Food Festival in Savannah and delighted in every one of the booths.  It was right up our alley with classes on fermenting foods to urban homesteading to cloth diapers... ahh!  It was truly amazing.  And Tirzah loved it with getting her face painted and hearing a puppet show.

So, we are filling our time and the days are passing.  Each night Tirzah places a sticker on our calendar to mark another day complete, and she gets to eat a pecan from our pecan jar.  we began with 117... and we are starting, finally, to make a dent.  And we just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

Chapter Two

One of the many blessings that we have received living here in Savannah is the proximity with which we live to a local church that is host to the Bible Study Fellowship program.  How excited we were when we moved and saw that we were but a mile away from the church!  So thankful to be participants yet again in this wonderful study of God's Word.

This year we are walking through the life of Moses and just this week we covered the story of the attack from the Amalekites upon the Israelites as they wandered through the desert.  The Lord instructed Joshua to go and fight, and he instructed Moses to climb to the top of the hill and raise his hands, which held the staff of God, into the air.  When his hands were raised, the Israelites were winning the battle.  When his hands fell, the victory turned towards the Amalekites (see Exodus 17:8-15 for the whole story).  So when Moses' arms become tired, Aaron and Hur come along and hold his hands up "so that his hands remained steady".  I have read this story often, but then as is my norm, I simply forget it and don't apply it to my life.  So when I came across this story again in our study, it amazes my anew and makes me realize that once again, our family finds itself in a situation such a this.

We are in a battle.  Yes, spiritually, as we all finds ourselves battling the evil forces.  But physically as well as Daniel is currently deployed for the second time.  He left just two weeks ago and is with the Ranger Unit in Afghanistan.  Two weeks into the last deployment, I remember, was a terribly low time as I had not yet heard from Daniel and I just couldn't possibly understand how we were to get through nine months of deployment.  And yet, when I look back upon the pages of my life, I see the greatest story of protection and provision and promises revealed in that first chapter of deployment.  And even as we have just turned the page and are beginning this second chapter of deployment, the Lord's mercy and kindness are already written for all to read:  First, this is just a four month deployment!  Second, Daniel is in a staff position, meaning that he is not out running missions every night/day but works within a large base and is behind a desk (which is not his favorite, but a fact which brings great relief to my bones and freedom to my mind!).  Thirdly, we are able to talk/skype each and every day.  What mercies!  How kind is the Lord!

And yet, even in chapters where mercy and kindness are written, there is also written hardship and struggle.  As is almost every chapter of our lives.  As is this second chapter of deployment.  That Tuesday evening when he left might have been the hardest moment of my life.  Hugging my husband and then watching him hug and kiss our two beautiful children goodbye.  It was almost too much for my heart to bear.  But doesn't the Lord have a wonderful sense of humor? Even in moments of such despair?  As I started the car to drive away, I ran right over top of a concrete post and pretty much got stuck on top... had to back off of it to continue on our way!  And miraculously, no damage!  Since the last time he deployed we got in an accident on the way to drop him off, I think this has to be an improvement!  Tears to tear filled laughter, we made our way home and the chapter began.

We are doing well and managing, through God's grace.  Two weeks down.  And already we are realizing that we are in this Moses and Joshua versus the Amalekite situation.  Fighting a battle. In dire need of help and strength and support.  Already, just like Moses, my hands are tired and weary and are more often wiping away my tears than raising them in praise to the Lord.  But already, we have seen and felt and gloried at the sight of people coming alongside and grabbing my hands and once again lifting them in praise.  We are being lifted in support, lifted in prayer, lifted in service, lifted with packages and letters and texts and meals...  Like when the lady whom I had never met and who sat behind me in church tapped me on my shoulder after service and said:
" I'm Kate.  And I"m bringing you dinner on Tuesday.  And I am coming early so that I can watch the children and you can go on a walk by yourself."

I have to say I don't like asking for help (does anyone??), and it's not my favorite place to be here, to be the one on the receiving end of service, but I will say it is amazing to be a part of the Church of Christ and to be cared for and loved.

So once again, we will yet be victorious in this second chapter of deployment, as the Lord sends those to steady our hands.  And we will "write this down, as something to be remembered" (Exodus 17:14) so our family can look back and once again see Grace written upon the pages of this chapter.

We have had a full and wonderful past few weeks!  With visitors and friends, pursuing homeschool, and even beginning BSF leadership here in Savannah, it has been good, but full!

We welcomed our dear friends the Gibbons family: Grant and Lisa, Jadea, Gavin, and Annie to our home for a fast but wonderful Labor Day weekend.  We spent wonderful moments together at the beach, splurged on ice cream and donuts, pizza and southern BBQ, and went downtown for a Shear-guided tour and a splash in the fountains.  It was wonderful to be with them and we were so thrilled to host them!

Just this past weekend we had Greg and Marlene here.  Daniel is away in the field, and they were so kind to drive down and arrive late Friday night, stay all through Saturday, and then hit the road again early Sunday morning to be back for the class that Greg teaches at VMI.  We had a day full of adventures here at home and made the most of our moments catching up.  A wonderful surprise was that Daniel was able to come home early early on Sunday morning so that Greg and Marlene could see their son for a few short moments!

I wanted to share our garden with you here in Georgia... definitely don't get your hopes up for it though!  I am totally disappointed with it.  I thought I was some sort of master gardener after that garden we had at our little homestead!  But now, after being here, I realize I am definitely not that!  When we moved here Daniel quickly erected several raised beds and they are beautiful.  We planted squash and zucchini, tried our hand at corn, did wildflowers, tomatoes, and peppers, and cantaloupe.  Well, from all of that... we have harvested about 7 tomatoes.  Yikes.  We planted late, it's true, but I guess we were thinking: It's Georgia!  We can grow anything here!  It seemed that our squash plants never pollinated... I think our soil is missing nutrients, and we just don't get enough sunlight here in the back.  SO... we will continue our attempt.  Now we have some cucumbers planted and some trellis purple beans for a fall harvest.  We are hoping to do carrots, beets, kale, and maybe some parsnips for the fall as well.  Definitely adding some nutrients to the soil, and maybe even moving the garden over a long weekend to the front of the yard??  Any thoughts?!

And lastly, we have been doing some sweet and simple homeschooling for Tirzah!  We are following the guide: Before Five In a Row, and it is just the sweetest.  It is based on children's literature; so basically we read a book every day for a week and then do simple activities to go along with the book.  This week we are reading Katy No-Pocket, a cute story of a Mama Kangaroo going to great lengths to get a "pocket" with which to carry her son kangaroo.  At the end of the book, the kangaroo goes to the city and finds a man with an apron that has lots of pockets in it.  And the man gives it to Katy!  That way she can carry all the baby animals of the forest!  So today, we made a cute little apron for Tirzah.  I am so hoping that tomorrow I find her with her stuffed animals in those pockets...

The rest of the week we are doing some printable activities I found on this site, we are making a traditional Australian dessert here, and even doing some Aboriginal  Art!

Have a wonderful day!

A visit with Grandma and Grandpa!

We had a most wonderful visit with Grandma and Grandpa!  They were here for 10 days and what a joy it was to host them.  And can you believe it??  They drove here!  1700 miles in a car to see us... now that is devotion and love!  We visited historic places like Wormsloe, went to the beach twice, walked around Forsyth park several times, went to the famous Tybee Island Crab Shack, spent many moments at the pool, and even let the men go fishing.  It was such a marvelous time and we miss them already!